There are so many things that my life could continue without. To name them all would take far to long, but I must say I am privileged be posting this on my sister's computer(because mine isn't home right now) I have become to accustomed to life. To familiar with comfort. And I long for one thing more. Do these wants ever end?
In Sunday School today Lamar talked about how disconnected our youth group has become. I wonder why that happened, was it through the leadership, or the people themselves, or could it be societies fault? (note the sarcasm) It breaks me to see the way that people are treated within the body of Christ. Are we so unwilling to make ourselves uncomfortable that we degrade anyone who is different? We strike out at our brothers and sisters to the point that simply ignoring them would be less painful. We are truly ungrateful. If we did not have freedom to live in christ without fear of persecution would you openly mock your fellow Christians? And yet that is what we do. Day in and day out we persecute ourselves. We do not need any government to tear us apart, we can do that ourselves.
Why must you blind yourselves to what you are doing? As you are confronted with these you laugh and talk about irrelevant events. Do you even listen to the words that are flowing out of aching hearts? Is it your ears or your hearts that are closed?
And we are yet young... why do we persecute?
November 27, 2005
November 25, 2005
Let it Rain
I just got back from shopping with my dad, like twenty minutes ago. It was fun :-) I find it very amusing to watch all of those people waiting in lines, trying to be the first one there to get just the right thing. We went at 6 and bought some tools and sweaters and just had a good time. And it's raining too.
November 24, 2005
It's Thanksgiving :-)
Thanksgiving has rolled around once again. I think that thanksgiving should be on a different day every year, and is announced like a week in advance or something like that, so that people would have to be thankful all of the time, just in case thanksgiving was only a couple days away. Anyway, that's my randomness for the day :-)
So, I have been going through my photostream on flickr and I can't believe the picture I used to take, just a couple months ago. I have improved so much it's not even funny... some of them are pretty bad. Anyway, all that's to say that I did some cleaning and deleted like 300 pictures, so now I have 874 pictures instead of 1200 or so. Still working on some more cleaning... but also just took a bunch more pictures, will it never end? :-P (yeah, I am definately downloading another 158 pictures from my camera right now to be sorted)
In other camera news, I got out Ken's photography stuff that we got when he died (that I didn't know we had)... it's amazing! So, now I have a telephoto lense and a macro lense and a ton of filters and film camera, and a bunch of cool stuff. ::is very excited:: I really wish I could fit the telephoto and macro lenses to my camera, but I don't think they will fix onto the adapter that I need. So, it's going to be added on my wish list anyway because it will let me use the filters at least.
Since we are on the topic of photography anyway, take a look at this great picture of Kaitlin.
So, I have been going through my photostream on flickr and I can't believe the picture I used to take, just a couple months ago. I have improved so much it's not even funny... some of them are pretty bad. Anyway, all that's to say that I did some cleaning and deleted like 300 pictures, so now I have 874 pictures instead of 1200 or so. Still working on some more cleaning... but also just took a bunch more pictures, will it never end? :-P (yeah, I am definately downloading another 158 pictures from my camera right now to be sorted)
In other camera news, I got out Ken's photography stuff that we got when he died (that I didn't know we had)... it's amazing! So, now I have a telephoto lense and a macro lense and a ton of filters and film camera, and a bunch of cool stuff. ::is very excited:: I really wish I could fit the telephoto and macro lenses to my camera, but I don't think they will fix onto the adapter that I need. So, it's going to be added on my wish list anyway because it will let me use the filters at least.
Since we are on the topic of photography anyway, take a look at this great picture of Kaitlin.
November 17, 2005
Attention!
I would like to announce a very important piece of information that has just been uncovered while discussing the issue with my dear friend Jim: I can fly. For you see we were talking (emailing) about how penguins can't fly, but then it was realized that in fact they can. For they are the most beautiful and graceful swimmers and indeed do fly under water. Though I myself am not as graceful as a penguin when in the water, and I definitely wouldn't be if I was swimming in water of the temperatures that they do, I indeed can fly. Consequently I must now remove "learn to fly" from the things I need to do that is on my side bar. I must also remove "find time to read" for though I have not yet found time to read I have read the most lovely of books. If thou hast not yet journeyed to read the tale "Cry, the Beloved Country" thine eyes would be blessed to read it. Finally I must also remove the statement "practice gymnastics" for I have been doing that constantly in the most recent past.
This is a Narrative that I wrote after being uncesseful in turning my other "narrative" into an actual narrative. If you believe that you must indeed proceed to allow your brain to transfigured this typing into words within your mind, please continue.
(November 10, 2005)
Step.
The leaves are churning through the streets following my footsteps. They dart in front of and behind me continually, losing themselves in their play, and yet staying close as if for them separation from me feet would be to lose a glimpse of life beyond their own comprehension. Continual dashes of orange, yellow, brown and red are moving through the streets. Some ride the wind patiently and effortless moving through, and some rush among every person, pole, and car slowly passing through the streets looking for a place to rest as their final days come to a close. Through the alleys and on the grass they are thrown by the wind. They have companions in the trees still clinging as tightly as they can to the life giving branches that they have known for their entire existence. The grasp that holds them there is unwilling to let go of their homes. They will cling to life until they have no strength in them to stay any longer on the slowly chilling branches of protection. The evergreens begin their long farewell to their neighbors as the last of the trees begin to give up their leaves. They resolve themselves to wait patiently for the spring to bring new life to their balding friends. They bid them adieu.
Step.
The swiftly blowing wind curls around each corner blowing the ever-moving hair into my eyes. Through these strands I see the gentle sway of each blade of grass dancing in its place of honor next to the ash trees own bend and sway. They mix their songs: large, muscular, and slow; small, bending, and fleeting. The long branches are being pulled to the sky as they whisper and chatter to each other ignoring the steady rhythm of the wind moving their branches. The wind glances across the strings that play in the trees creating the music of elves. And the grass, it looks up at this great monument in amazement, while this great monument looks down at the swiftly dancing grass and sees itÂ’s marvelous beauty.
Step.
The flowers that still cling to life are mixed in with beauty of the leaves creating the mysterious fragrance that twists and turns in the same rhythm of the tranquil sky. They accentuate each other in the endless cycle of life and death. Beauty beheld in both the life that has already fallen from itÂ’s source of living, and the life that is still connected to the bushes that bring forth itÂ’s life. The upturned hands are waiting in expectation of the drops of life that will mean their time to fall has come.
Step.
The expanse above me lightens the earth through the clouded lens of it grey skies. The churning of white and grey mass colliding against itself, ceaselessly moving it is ever changing the tones and shades of the sky. The darkness and light continually battle each other for steady footing of which neither grasp a hold of. The extensive pallet of colors created by this violent battle is beyond any earthly artists abilities. The life that is moving swiftly through the air is played out in its colors. The clouds drive themselves through, content simply to be moving.
Step.
Step.
Step.
This is a Narrative that I wrote after being uncesseful in turning my other "narrative" into an actual narrative. If you believe that you must indeed proceed to allow your brain to transfigured this typing into words within your mind, please continue.
(November 10, 2005)
Step.
The leaves are churning through the streets following my footsteps. They dart in front of and behind me continually, losing themselves in their play, and yet staying close as if for them separation from me feet would be to lose a glimpse of life beyond their own comprehension. Continual dashes of orange, yellow, brown and red are moving through the streets. Some ride the wind patiently and effortless moving through, and some rush among every person, pole, and car slowly passing through the streets looking for a place to rest as their final days come to a close. Through the alleys and on the grass they are thrown by the wind. They have companions in the trees still clinging as tightly as they can to the life giving branches that they have known for their entire existence. The grasp that holds them there is unwilling to let go of their homes. They will cling to life until they have no strength in them to stay any longer on the slowly chilling branches of protection. The evergreens begin their long farewell to their neighbors as the last of the trees begin to give up their leaves. They resolve themselves to wait patiently for the spring to bring new life to their balding friends. They bid them adieu.
Step.
The swiftly blowing wind curls around each corner blowing the ever-moving hair into my eyes. Through these strands I see the gentle sway of each blade of grass dancing in its place of honor next to the ash trees own bend and sway. They mix their songs: large, muscular, and slow; small, bending, and fleeting. The long branches are being pulled to the sky as they whisper and chatter to each other ignoring the steady rhythm of the wind moving their branches. The wind glances across the strings that play in the trees creating the music of elves. And the grass, it looks up at this great monument in amazement, while this great monument looks down at the swiftly dancing grass and sees itÂ’s marvelous beauty.
Step.
The flowers that still cling to life are mixed in with beauty of the leaves creating the mysterious fragrance that twists and turns in the same rhythm of the tranquil sky. They accentuate each other in the endless cycle of life and death. Beauty beheld in both the life that has already fallen from itÂ’s source of living, and the life that is still connected to the bushes that bring forth itÂ’s life. The upturned hands are waiting in expectation of the drops of life that will mean their time to fall has come.
Step.
The expanse above me lightens the earth through the clouded lens of it grey skies. The churning of white and grey mass colliding against itself, ceaselessly moving it is ever changing the tones and shades of the sky. The darkness and light continually battle each other for steady footing of which neither grasp a hold of. The extensive pallet of colors created by this violent battle is beyond any earthly artists abilities. The life that is moving swiftly through the air is played out in its colors. The clouds drive themselves through, content simply to be moving.
Step.
Step.
Step.
November 11, 2005
Gymnastics Stuff
Things are changing, I don't like change. For pretty much forever, well not forever, but for about 2 years now I guess, I have worked every single class that Devan offers... and I won't be anymore. Devan really needed me to help with a cheerleading class, but my mom won't let me add an extra hour, which means I have to drop an hour... which just so happens to be the thursday 5:30 class that has just about all of my (older) favorite students in it. This has made me rather sad. Fortunately I can still say hi to them before class starts, but it just isn't the same.
In other news: my first ever gymnastics competition is sneeking up on me. I have 4 more weeks before the competition!!! Ack! Yeah, basically I almost have the floor routine down, but I need a lot of work on everything else. I am thinking about trying to do a private lesson or something like that in order to get everything down. Hopefully it all turns out ok. The competition is on 17th of December, so if anyone wants to come they can, as far as I know. And you can see me make a fool out of myself :-P Oh well, I love it anyway! I need a new leotard to which is good because I will have to buy one for the competition.
Soon I shall be off to go do a birthday party :-)
In other news: my first ever gymnastics competition is sneeking up on me. I have 4 more weeks before the competition!!! Ack! Yeah, basically I almost have the floor routine down, but I need a lot of work on everything else. I am thinking about trying to do a private lesson or something like that in order to get everything down. Hopefully it all turns out ok. The competition is on 17th of December, so if anyone wants to come they can, as far as I know. And you can see me make a fool out of myself :-P Oh well, I love it anyway! I need a new leotard to which is good because I will have to buy one for the competition.
Soon I shall be off to go do a birthday party :-)
November 10, 2005
English Assignment
October 27, 2005
Times are changing. Those who once loved what we stand for are passing away. Ideas, Thought, Being. They fall away into memory and exist no more. The calling to be alive falls upon closed ears. We are dieing. Those intricately woven threads that so closely bind us together are being cut, one by one.
There is something about being close to someone that is looked down upon. The idea gets pushed aside as yet another manifestation of our flawed outlook on life. Yet there can be no other viewpoint for me. They have their own judgment, based upon the logical military precision of the articulating minds that bind them to an unexperienced life. Life cannot be expressed in any sort of progression if it is to remain life, so we reject their articulation. There are words that appear to show what the world is to us, but even these meaningless attempts at a connection through language fall, cruelly struck down, before them.
We attempt to continue living, not yielding to the authority of the ruling class of our time. I long to be free from this oppression. I have grown weary. These tears that move of their own accord keep coming. They bash themselves upon shattered rocks that are invisible to everyone but ourselves. They refuse to comprehend how we can cry at the loss of life in their eyes. They refuse to recognize what life is, and what is required of them to be alive. Maybe someday they will try to understand, but today they hide behind their granite walls and pretend that love doesn’t exist.
Today they changed their language. They decided to train themselves to articulate in German, because our names don’t translate. They want to forget what we stand for, but language cannot be un-learned. As we walk through the streets of their city they whisper in their new found language “They are outcasts.” They cannot forget what we are. Our names reverberate in their minds, refusing to let them fully leave this world. They reside in the world, but do not understand those who exist with them. They refuse to understand what it is that allows us to exist. They chose not to learn the word for love.
We are warriors. We fight as long as there is breathe left in us. We are alive. Sie können nicht vergessen. Maybe someday I will learn to understand German. Someday it will rain freedom.
November 2, 2005
It's Been A While
This is really wierd, so, I never posted this often on my xanga and I don't know why I am posting so often now. Wierd. Anyway, the Trunk or Treat thing that our church did was on Sunday night and it turned out really to be great. We had almost 30 cars (double what we had last year) and a bunch of the neighborhood families came and I dressed up as a Jedi (pictures coming soon) It was a lot of fun. I love little kids. I really do, but halloween really anoise me. Personally I don't have anything against kids going trick or treating, or making jack 'o' lanterns because it's not evil, even if halloween started out that way (for the most part) it isn't anymore. But: it is amazing to me to watch the people who come to my door on halloween. Some of them are accompanied by their parents who are there to make sure they are safe. They stand at the gate, sometimes in costume, sometimes not, and tell their kids to say thank you... And then there are the parents who come to the door with their infants and small children in hand who you know are to young to eat any of the candy, in fact they are to young to even say trick or treat. They don't always say thank you. Just a random observation. Yeah, I get pretty frustrated over it when I don't need to.
The Debate tournament is closing in on us, and Chris and I are officially in. (this whole late confirmation thing was making me nervous, though I guess it really isn't that late) I am stressing out. If we hit a team that is putting caps on non-economic damages, changing the Feres Doctrine, Eliminating the NVICP, or creating Health Courts, I will be fine... Other than that, I have nothing. I feel so incredibly unprepared!!! It's only the first tournament of the year though. I have been working so hard on debate recently and I really want it to pay off. We took Monday off because it is halloween and Devan's son's birthday, so I did debate. All. Day. Long. From like 7-8 and no, that isn't one hour, that's 13 hours (though I did have a couple breaks in between) and then another couple hours yesterday, and I am going over to Chris' house to work on affirmative this morning. I love Debate :-D So hopefully all of that work will pay off.
The Debate tournament is closing in on us, and Chris and I are officially in. (this whole late confirmation thing was making me nervous, though I guess it really isn't that late) I am stressing out. If we hit a team that is putting caps on non-economic damages, changing the Feres Doctrine, Eliminating the NVICP, or creating Health Courts, I will be fine... Other than that, I have nothing. I feel so incredibly unprepared!!! It's only the first tournament of the year though. I have been working so hard on debate recently and I really want it to pay off. We took Monday off because it is halloween and Devan's son's birthday, so I did debate. All. Day. Long. From like 7-8 and no, that isn't one hour, that's 13 hours (though I did have a couple breaks in between) and then another couple hours yesterday, and I am going over to Chris' house to work on affirmative this morning. I love Debate :-D So hopefully all of that work will pay off.
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