Have you ever?

I bet you've never ridden a catfish, my granddad has :-)

Working Hard

Despite being on vacation from work, I have definately replaced that with many other things. I've done debate, walked to the post office, read a book outside in the rain, done more debate, cleaned, set up my bookshelf, did more debate, went to yesterday's books with two awesome friends, watched some of Betty Dali's shows from the early 80's, did some more debate, and ate sometimes, and read more, and more debate, and more thinking, and more nothingness, and more and more and more nothingness.

I am so tired of not being able to live the way I want to, but I know that will never completely change. My world lacks peace. I want to live more fully and I can't, my world is frustrated by the human desires that plague me. I want to sell everything. I want to be a hermit, I want to live in the country I want to sing to children I want to hold my own children I want so much that it seams like it will never be and my life seams like it will never begin, and yet it has begun and I have missed the first three chapters and they will never be recovered. I am not content to live a complacent life, yet I know no other and it frustrates me.

Close my eyes and hold my heart, cover me and make me something. Change this something normal into something beautiful. Give me reason to believe you'd never leave me incomplete. Do you see it one my face, that all I can think about is how long, I've been waiting to feel you move me? ~ Jars of Clay-Something Beautiful

Timeless Memories

I drove down an old street the other day... I'd never driven on it before, because I was always in the back seat. My dad let me give him directions once, even though he knew how to get there, and he ended up turning into someones driveway when I said "turn now" instead of waiting until after the house :-P The road is the same, but it is yet different. Another stop sign that was never there. Orchards. Gone. There are houses on every side, and the river has been closed off. I was going to someones house, but I drove further to the end of the road. My grandads house and land has been replaced by a subdivision of hoity toities. The trees, the house, the shed. The table in the living room. The rubix cube. The drive way and patio. The chickens at the house next door. They've been removed from everything except for memories. There is still a house at the end of the road. It stands crowded on the sides by double stacked houses with no yard.

I cried.

Change.




Everything is changing.

I love Books!

Yeah, so basically I want a bookshelf for christmas (which I am pretty sure we are going to get) and then I am going to go down to barnes and nobles and fill it with books from the Collector's Library Series :-D So I have to convince my mom of this, but I really want to do it! The books are 5.95 each which isn't that expensive but I would be getting a lot of them so that might end up being expensive... but that's ok, their books! (and I think I have a barnes and nobles gift card laying around here somewhere too, and maybe Joy will pitch in and I will let her use them ::hint hint::)