I had forgotten...

How incredibly dissapointing and confusing ballots can be. Maybe that is why I never read them right after tournaments. I've gotten into the habit of that. I figure that what I can learn from ballots can be learned just as well a few days (well sometimes a few weeks ;-P) later just as right after the rounds. And saves a lot of frustration too. But, a lot of frustration always remains. The rounds that you "should have won" rounds that if the debater had judged themselves both teams would have agreed... and disagreed with the judge. The rounds where the RFD is that it was a coin toss, or the worst of all, is when they vaguely say that there was some technicality that you lost on, but never say what that technicality was so you can improve upon it.

So, my rant about NCFCA judging is now done.

Quote of the Day #4

Joy: "Oh yeah, and Bethany thinks that the term "heifer" is offensive and oppressive. From now on Bethany decided you all should refer to yourself as the Independent Women. That's all."

Yabadabadoo

Yes, so I had a good tournament on Saturday... it was a bit wierd not debating with Chris, in fact it was incredibly wierd. It isn't that I don't like debating with Kaitlin, in fact I love debating with her. (and despite what she says she is an excellent debater) Yeah, I just debated with Chris a long time, and fifth round we went against him and Alex. Yeah, kinda odd, but by far the most fun, and the best round of the whole tournament :-) I love debate!

Hmmmmm

I went to gymnastics today for almost an hour. I didn't do very much, but it was nice to be able to be back... scary, but nice at the same time. And.................... A Tournament Tomorrow!!! (Yay for Debate, and Yay for my stupendously amazing partner Kaitlin :-D)

Finally

I'm Here! ::is grinning very largely::

Guess Where I'm Going!

I GET TO GO BE WITH MY SISTER FOR A WEEK!!!!!!!!!

Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy... yes, I'm happy :-)

Quote of the Day #3

(In a coversation talking about the computer)
Joy: Gimme... Gimme... Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme gravy tonight
Bethany: Why should I give it to you
Joy: Because I love you
Bethany: Why else
Joy: Because I'm going to watch CSI, and I'll make you breakfast burritos, and I had to suffer... I just don't know what I'm going to do! And because I'm getting fat, fat, fat, fat.
Bethany: He he he
Joy: Gimme!!! Do you want to see a grown gir l cry? My compooter I want my compooter... I want, I want my compooter... I want, I want, I want, a breakfast burrito
Bethany: What else do you want?
Joy: I want your mom
Bethany: JOY!!
Joy: who you talking to? I want you to be quiet about me... Is it Emily Duncan? I want my boyfriend to kiss me pasionately under the stars, I want Bethany's toe ring to be permanantly mine. I want whoever you talking to to quite being such a butt face... who are you talking to. I want to run around naked and yell hip hip hooray it's saint patricks day. I want to watch CSI. I want bethany to give me my gosh darn computer. I want a pumpkin. I want some cranberry juice because it cleanse out your urinary tract. who are you talking about? Is it Emily Duncan? let me see! Let me see...
Bethany: Just a sec, I gotta finish typing what you said.
Joy: gimme gimme, bethany, gimme, do I need to come over hear and take it from you, do I need to come over hear and flash you my sexy butt? Don't write that... DON"T WRITE THAT, are you writing that, don't write that.
Bethany: Our lives have never been the same since Xanga

A First (Part 3)

I am doing progressively better. Incredibly sore, but almost completely off the pain meds, and doing ok. I can lean forward about another inch or two I think which is good, at least a little progress. That's all. :-)

Tom Stone

A good place to visit if you want to see portraits that will challenge the way you see, is the Tom Stone Gallery. You can also pick him up where I first found him, on flickr.

This is what he says: " i photograph people who skirt the edges of things; people whose connection to the broader flow is murky or obscured. mistaken as more, less or different than they are; they aren’t really seen and don’t really belong. that’s everyone sometimes; but some more often. i try to establish a line for a moment. i hope to connect. and i see the most beautiful and the most heartbreaking things.

to my thinking, the original human trauma is our separation. we are too close not to need each other; and too far to trust each other. we rely on dubious senses and clever devices to interact; but we are alone in our thoughts. lonely, insecure and uncertain; we pair, we group, we associate. we try to belong and we seek to exclude. we form bonds by geography, religion, economy and otherwise. but it is all precarious. we come together and we drive apart.

and we climb our ladder. we step away from those who don’t belong and help those who do. we are connected rung by rung – though less and less – as we push and pull. but some do not climb; and below, the earth is littered with them. they fit too poorly. they stand apart. they stand without.

and what of them; these ones who don’t belong or who are excluded; who don’t fit or don’t try? is there nothing they value? is there nothing of them we value? i count it as a measure of our ignorance, the depth of poverty in the world. it’s a glaring marker to how far we have not come. yet it has also driven our advance; on less fortunate backs and against less fortunate fate.

but is there really no connection there? does such fate – whether choice or circumstance – speak nothing of us? tell me we do more than advance in place; with so many left behind. or promise me we can do better. say we can reflect ourselves; us and them... that we can see the ways we overlap and distinguish the ways we grow apart. and pledge that we can learn; to fit all of our misshapes; to reward value beyond charity and beyond the marketplace; to be better to each other; to be better ourselves. and promise me it could be a better world. or tell me we are at our best."

A First (Part 2)

I am really struggling as to what I should write. I want to express what I'm feeling, what's going on in my brain, in my body... but I don't want to come across as complaining. So, as you read this just keep in mind, I'm not trying to just whine to the world.

I woke up every four hours last night to take my pain medication. I went back to sleep so very easily because it makes me drowzy. I've been in this half awake half asleep state since 10:30 yesterday, but besides that everything seems normal now. It doesn't hurt to sit here and type away on my computer, to read the economist, to play around on flickr, everything seems normal, like nothing ever happened. And then I move, and the pain comes back, not just the pain that shoots through the middle of my back, but the pain at the thought of not being able to do what I love. The thoughts that I won't be able to teach, will probably have to skip out on the rest of the meets this year, including zones. That I won't touch a floor, won't touch the bars for more than a month.

That I can't do anything.

The hardest part about being sick or injured is that I can't. Everyone else has to do things for me. Laralyn, can you get me orange juice? Mom, can you get me a pillow? Dad, can you feed the cat for me? Can you? Please? Can I go outside? It hurts my pride that I can't do things for myself. That hurts more than the real pain. But then again, that pain is just as real as the physical.

It's nice to see how things work for the best.

The rest of my body, the injuries that I have lost count of can heal... I probably won't let the newest one completely heal, but the rest will, and my body will restore itself. I have to let it, because I can't do anything else. I have time now. I can hang out with friends, relax, rest, sleep, and visit my sister. My busy schedule has been destroyed, and I'm left not knowing what to do. I'll probably spend a lot of time just laying on my back with my computer on my lap, but I'll get to do other things as well that I never have time for. Finish crocheting my blanket, work on my Maille, read, just be. Funny how getting hurt does that to you.

(And my artist page is now up and running)

A First

Well, I got to do something today that I've never been able to do before. I took a trip in the ambulance. I'm fine, I'll live to see another day, but won't be doing or teaching gymnastics for a while. I'll have lots of time to do Math and Debate, thats for sure. So, don't worry too much. I'd appreciate prayers for my back, and what I should do for the next couple of days, being as I will be skipping out on roughly 25 hours of gymnastics in the next seven days. Thats a lot of time to do other things in... and to get very bored in :-)
~Bethany

::Singing with Joy::

At approximately 2:45 I officially became elated about this years debate topic, something that hasn't happened in a long while. I think we are going to be able to run the equivalent of the Marshall Islands case! :-D I can't even describe how happy I am.