Disapointment

Well, I was hoping to do a lot reading this month, and I really didn't have much time to get any done... actually I probably could have had time, but I have this habit of playing spider solitair instead. I am part way through three books, but have yet to finish any of them. So, I am resolved that in February I will play less spider solitair and read more.

More Wasted Time

While I was wasting some time on flickr today I decided to pull out my recent pictures that I really liked for you guys to go look at. So, I have three new pictures that I just really liked. Fall Softly, Expectation, and Its Own Little World. Yes, I am very proud of myself. There is now way that I would have been taking pictures like this last year! I have more Sno-Go pictures that should be coming up there soon... as well as a ton of pictures from New Years and San Diego that still haven't made it :-)

Back from Sno-Go

It was a good weekend. It took us forever to get there because there was a crash on the freeway, but that's ok. There was snow on the ground, though not a ton of it. Enough to cover the ground in most places, though it was not fluffy snow, but snow/ice. It was fun ::is grinning very bigly:: Yeah, I have only been in the snow a grand total of 5 times I think, and one of those times was stopping at the rest stop on the grapevine for like 5 minutes. And... It Snowed!!! I have never seen it snow before, so that was hecka sweet. My girls were great too, I had six girls in my cabin from our church, all of who were pretty cool, ok, so really cool :-P It was a very good weekend... even though now I am really sore and have a ton of bruises from going down those hills (both on the little disc things... and on my butt)

Missing Chords

If anyone who reads this knows the Chords for "Wonderful Maker" at least I am assuming that is what it is called, feel free to send them my way. I was trying to figure them out last night and I know that there are lots of E's and F#m7 thingys, but I can't get the whole song down.

On another note (hehehe, I made a pun) I am the girls councelor for Jr. High Sno Go this weekend, which I am very excited about. There was snow last weekend for the Sr. Highers, so hopefully it will be just as great for us. I kinda wish that I could have gone last weekend for Sr. High Sno Go :-/ It would have meant three gymnastics practices in a row though, which I can't do. Oh well, there will be other times to hang out.

Step by Step

I am trying to get a hold on my life right now, everything is just so chaotic. I have started making stacks of all of the things that I need to get done... and it's getting taller instead of shorter. My reading list for January has not even been touched, let alone the school, debate, cleaning, and half a million other things that I need to get done.

I got to spend some time with Adria last saturday and today which was very good. I miss her a lot, and now she is leaving to go back to college again.

Craving Silence. Something slower.... something different. Peace for a change.

About My Day

Well, today is a debate day, I am leaving at like 10:45 or so and won't be back until 10:15 or so... that is a lot of debate :-) I guess that is assuming I go strait fromt the practice round to class, but I probably will.

I wish that I had more time, I know that I could make a good extra half hour if I didn't check blogs, my email, and Metroland... maybe more than a half hour, but communication is important. There is just so much stuff that I want to get done, that at the end of the day I have to choose between sleep, and stuff (sleep has been winning recently) I think that I may decide not to use IM... but, then I couldn't talk to people if I wanted to. Ok, so that reminds me, freaky experience last night. So normally when I sign on to IM I have an away message on, or am invisible, etc. becuase I rarely sign on when the only thing I am doing is talking to people... well, not rarely, but most of the time I am doing something else to (how important it is can range from school to playing cards, but I hate not multi tasking) So last night I wasn't doing anything, signed on and I ended up talking to four people! I know for those who normally IM that is not a big deal, but In the past two years or so the most people I have talked to at once is two, and that was ealier this week.

I am very happy, if you want to know why, why don't you ask me, because I am going to go be productive for five minutes instead of type for five minutes :-)

Yet Another Good Day

This is turning out to be a good week. Robin is back in modesto for her sisters baby shower which makes me very happy, because that means she will be at gymnastics all next week! She came tonight too. Amy came too, which was awesome, it's so much fun tumbling with her :-) So after class Robin and I stayed around and talked for twenty minutes or so, which was really good. It has been soooo long since I have gotten to talk to her. She is working on getting her gym opened in Iowa which also makes me pretty happy... maybe I will be able fly out there sometime next summer for a week or something... I was hoping to this summer, but I don't think that it will happen this summer.

::is very happy::

I've been working on getting all of my school finished up for the year too, I was supposed to be done before Christmas but that all got put off for San Diego... so, just a little bit more to go!

And, I am wearing my Jedi rob! I got it back on Sunday, and am very happy about that one too.

Reviving

This has been a semi good weekend/beginning of week. This makes me rather excited. Saturday was a good gymnastics day (though I couldn't do much because I have a pulled muscle) And Sunday was good too, a good sunday morning, and youth group, which hasn't happened for ages! I am growing, I am learning, I am searching, and He is faithful. I have been struggling through what I believe and am coming out stronger, because I know, I have assurance, no matter what others say.

Getting Ready for Caleb

For those of you who don't know, I am very seriously considering (and am 99% that I am going to) apply for the Caleb Project this summer at Hume Lake. It is a four week discipleship program at the same location as their wildwood camp (that I went to last year). They have two sessions, each one with six guys and six girls. I think that it would be really good for me spiritually right now. My one week at Hume last year built me up so much, but I have been constantly torn down since then. It's the time alone, away from these distractions, away from the computer, the pointless games that I engross myself in, away from spider solitair, away from CSI, and Cold Case. Away from people that I know (unless Kelsey goes to, which would be totally awesome) away from my family, away from normality. I want to go into Caleb ready to grow, and I don't know if I am right now, but God will provide whatever needs to be for his plan to be worked out.

So, I have been trying my hardest to get my application completed (which is due the first of march) I have one reference form of four that has been given back to me (Yay for Becky, you rock!) and have written five pages worth of essays, with only seven more questions to go. Even if I don't get into the Caleb Project, the getting ready part had challenged me to grow. The next challenge is finishing the essays (which I saved the ones I don't want to do for last, of course) and getting the money... it's really expensive, but I'll be able to pay for it if I have to pay for it all myself.

::is excited::

Too Many Memories

I'm listenging to a song that I have not heard in a long time... In fact, I deleted it from itunes and had to go search for it in the rest of my music that I don't have filed in itunes.

Long Days.

I have traded one emotional sorrow for another it seems. Run. There was a time when I thought that everything people said was true. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that place. I have not heard your voice sing the words of who you once were... you are gone.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There are so many people that I do not know, who I see every day. So many that remain unseen. I cried today... I wept yesterday.

Back to Gymnastics

It feels like it has been an eternity since I have gotten up on a balance beam. Because of San Diego, this is my first week back in three weeks :-) I is excited.

I feel accomplished

Someone once commented that I get good pictures because I take so many... which may or may not be true, but this is a picture that I am very very happy with.

Effective Marketing

In our house right now we have two different kinds of chips sitting on our shelf, targeted at two different types of people. The first is Tostitos Scoops, corn chips. "The Dip Lover's Chip" No Trans Fat or Sugar, and it makes it easy to pig out on your salsa! Notice the colorfully decorated bag in blues and purples, with the occasional white accent marks. The second is Santitas, corn chips. "Authentic Mexican Style" The plain white and clear bag with brown yellow and red writting and designs looks very authentic, with the words "Hecho 100% de Maiz" and "Made with 100% Real Corn" on the front seperated by a very mexican looking piece of corn, it must be true. Heck, the entire bag is in both english and spanish, that stone ground corn must be "The Authentic Flavor of Mexico"!

...

Then why are they the exact same ingredients, both made by frito lay? Talk about marketing.

Have We Yet Arived?

Joy says I don't have enough Iron, maybe that's why, but who knows. I think that this was my hardest tournament that I've ever been to. I was completely exhausted constantly, almost falling asleep in rounds, and between rounds, even though I slept enough hours... well, all but one night. Trying not to cry during rounds, which thankfully the only rounds I actually did were a non-outround, and one I wasn't debating in, which of course, no one noticed. We did extremely well despite all of that, but it's just not the same. I feel like I cheated myself out of something better because I couldn't focus enough to think of arguments let alone debate well. And I also feel like we should have lost the first outround in order to give someone else a chance to make it all the way. For the most part I guess the tournament was good though.

I am teaching classes all week because Devan is on vacation. I am extremely nervous about teaching the chearleading class (the only class that I haven't tought before) That is tomorrow night, and I have been freaking out about it for forever, so basically I can't wait for it to be over.

In His Hands

It's time to finally recognize that my life is not my own. Whatever happens at San Diego and in the next few weeks, months, and years, is all up to God. Be my help. Help me to fall from myself. Heal me once again Lord. You are all I have left to believe in.

I am the woman at the well, I am the harlot
I am the scattered seed that fell along the path
I am the son that ran away
I am the bitter son that stayed

My God, my God, why hast Thou accepted me
When all my love was vinegar to a thirsty King
My God, my God, why hast Thou accepted me
It's a mystery of mercy and the song, the song I sing

I am the angry man who came to stone the lover
I am the woman there ashamed before the crowd
I am the leper who gave thanks
But I am the nine that never came

My God, my God, Lord you are
My God

Mystery of Mercy ~ Caedmon's Call

Almost Ready

Five more Word Documents to finish some minor touches on, and then I will be all printed (don't ask how much paper I've used) I think that I am ready, so much less nervous than a week ago, and I need to read through a whole binder of evidence in a day and a half. :-) I am ready for SD!

A New Step

Well, 2006 has come and nothing seems different. I look back on the past year and see so many things, that I never planned on, or wanted to happen, and many things that I didn't expect that were amazing...

many things.