What were we thinking?!?!

Mandates
1. Cede all property in the Indian trust fund to its Native American owners
2. Reincorporate Indian reservations into respective states
3. Abolish the Bureau of Indian affairs
4. The funding of the Bureau of Indian affairs for Fiscal year 2005 will be reapportioned through proper legislative channels.


I think Joshua described it well: "A plan to conquer the soverign Native American nations, destroy their existence, and create a coerced policy of mass assimiliation of their people."

Beyond Relaxed

This was the most relaxed Christmas I believe that I have ever had. On Sunday I decided to unplug the antenna from the tv, and plug in the Super Nintendo, of which I've spent a good amount of time playing star wars, paper boy 2, and little bit of super metroid on. There is just something special about going back to a simple controller that is just freakin sweet. Good times. I miss the Sundays where the Zellman's would come over after church or we would go over to their house and play super Nintendo or original Nintendo (respectively) Those were the days. Between video games the candle light service and breakfast and dinner on Christmas we just chilled. I opened one present Christmas morning (because Lamar brought it over) and the rest waited until after dinner, but they didn't beckon, they waited patiently. I think the gifts wait more patiently for me every year.

I had a dream last night too, which is kinda cool, I wish I had dreams more often, they're fun. Myself and the next door neighbors played airsoft all of the house (including inside) It was two against one and they had better guns, but that's ok, because it was all fun. And then Dad and I went down to the church to meet up with everyone in the Youth Group to go to a movie, and I rode with Rebecca in her hecka sweet, old, two seat-er convertible. Good times, wish those weren't just dreams.

8 more days until San Diego.

Quote of the Day #11

Lamar: "She talks all proper english at home, you should see her on the street, she's a thug! I'm scared of Bethany!" "You just lost street cred, just wait till I tell your homies"

Dandelions

In a field of yellow flowers,
underneath the sun,
bluest eyes that spark with lightning,
boy with shoes undone.
He is young, so full of hope,
reveling in tiny dreams,
filling up, his arms with flowers,
right for giving any queen.

Running to her beaming bright,
while cradling his prize.
A flickering of yellow light,
within his mother's eyes.
She holds them to her heart,
keeping them where they'll be safe,
clasped within her very marrow,
dandelions in a vase.

She sees love, where anyone else would see weeds.
all hope is found.
Here is everything he needs.

Fathomless your endless mercy,
weight I could not lift.
Where do I fit in this puzzle,
what good are these gifts?
Not a martyr, or a saint,
scarcely can I struggle through.
All that I have ever wanted,
was to give my best to you.

Lord, search my heart,
create in me something clean.
Dandelions
you see flowers in these weeds.

Gently lifting hands to heaven,
softened by the sweetest hush,
a Father sings over his children,
loving them so very much.
More than words could warrant,
deeper than the darkest blue,
more than sacrifice could merit,
Lord, I give my heart to you
~Five Iron Frenzy~

Evolution is the best freakin movie I've ever watched!

Quote of the Day #10

Lamar: "It's always a racial issue. So, wadaya do?"

Dad: "Wear a Burka."

Quote of the Day #9

Mom: "ASS!!!!!!!"

(ok, so I took it completely out of context, but it's still funny!)

The tournament yesterday was odd. No Kelsey, no Kirby, no Laralyn, no Stephanie, no Chris, no Alex. It was fun though, just, a little bit empty. I think that fact that I am partnered with the most wonderful Kaitlin makes up for an odd tournament though :-D

Just a little bit anti-social

I don't know what it is about being in large groups of people that un-nerves me, but it does. It may have at least a little bit to do with my pride and trying to keep up a reputation for... well, I'm sure something. I just really am not the most comfortable with it though. I would rather be the one who is always sitting back in the corner maybe talking to one or two people. But somehow I always end up being louder and talking more than I really want to. To be able to just sit back and be is beautiful, but its rather hard to do when other people aren't doing the same. I got to do a lot of that this thanksgiving though, with Lamar and Buck, and Adria too. I enjoy the luxary of knowing that I am not expected to talk at all if I don't want to, and that if I really felt compelled, I could be silent for hours on end and that would be perfectly fine. I want more silence in my life, and I need to learn how to balance that with the reality that at least sometimes, people make noise.

Quote of the Day #8

A couple thoughts to nibble on...

"A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat."

"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."

"In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character."

"Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy."

Patrick Jake O'Rourke

Quote of the Day #7

"The nearest approach to immortality on earth is a government bureau."
~James F. Byrnes (1947)

Inside

I feel as though I have been absent recently. I don't know why, but this past week has been very... alone.

I didn't

"The check mark or the punched chad on a ballot means "yes" it is the consent you give to the electoral process by virtue of participating. No wonder all candidates agree on one point: you should vote. They are like religious leaders who urge you to worship at the church of your choice. First and foremost, politicians want you to sanction the process by which they acquire power and money because, without that sanction, they have no legitimacy.

It is commonly said, "If you don’t vote, you have no right to complain about the outcome." The opposite is true. By playing the game, voters agree to the rules. Only those who don’t play and withhold their consent have a right to complain about the outcome, especially since the winner will have his hand in the non-voter’s pocket.

Voting is not an act of political freedom. It is an act of political conformity. Those who refuse to vote are not expressing silence. They are screaming in the politician’s ear: "You do not represent me. This is not a process in which my voice matters. I do not believe you."

Non-voting has a rich and long history through which the dissenting electorate has expressed everything from religious convictions to political cynicism. That history has been conspicuously ignored. If people truly believe voting is important, they should use their mouths to do more than insult non-voters and utter election slogans. They should discuss and debate the issue with those who disagree."
- Wendy McElroy

"Voting is not an expression of power, but an admission of powerlessness, since it cannot do otherwise than reaffirm the government's supposed legitimacy."
- Fred Woodworth

Unexpected

When people ask me if I have ever wanted to go to the Olympics I've always said no. I only do floor, so it really wouldn't be practical. But, that isn't quite true anymore. The dreams that I never had, somehow, they are starting to exist. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would compete at all in gymnastics, let alone be going to states. It just doesn't seam real. Awards are given out by 1-9, 10, 11, and 12 and up... yeah, I would venture to say that I'm probably the oldest person to compete level 5 in a long time... if not ever. And I'm going to states.


Here is another photographer that I really like. It is mostly China/Korea, but there are a lot of amazing pictures.

Quote of the Day #6

Dad: So what are you doing tomorrow?
Mom: Whatever I damn well please!

Quote of the Day #5

Adria: I don't believe in sex, I believe in the stork theory.
Mom: What about flamingos?
Bethany: Flamingos don't carry babies!
Mom: but they are prettier.
Adria: I told my sister the other day that I don't believe in sex, I believe in the stork theory, and she said where do you think they get the babies from?
Mom: Babies come from mervyn's
Bethany: What?!?!?
Mom: haven't you seen the papers that say "baby sale"? ... But I didn't get you from Mervyn's.
Bethany: No! I came from Buy Rite!

The Final Word

Well, the decision was made tonight, I am officially going to zones. It's still not for sure if I am going to scratch bars or not, but its a very large possibility. Everything else I'm fine on. Vault and Beam no problem at all, and the only thing on floor is a backwalkover... which I'll just do a really ugly one and take the deduction instead of trying to do a good one and hurting myself. And bars, well, I just can't do a kip, so if I can do it by Saturday then great, I may make it to states. If not... there go my chances. Even if I got a 10.0 on all the rest I couldn't get a high enough score to go :-( But unfortunately my body is more important. I wish it wasn't, but it is, and it sucks. But life shall go on, and heck, I'm alive and walking!

I had forgotten...

How incredibly dissapointing and confusing ballots can be. Maybe that is why I never read them right after tournaments. I've gotten into the habit of that. I figure that what I can learn from ballots can be learned just as well a few days (well sometimes a few weeks ;-P) later just as right after the rounds. And saves a lot of frustration too. But, a lot of frustration always remains. The rounds that you "should have won" rounds that if the debater had judged themselves both teams would have agreed... and disagreed with the judge. The rounds where the RFD is that it was a coin toss, or the worst of all, is when they vaguely say that there was some technicality that you lost on, but never say what that technicality was so you can improve upon it.

So, my rant about NCFCA judging is now done.

Quote of the Day #4

Joy: "Oh yeah, and Bethany thinks that the term "heifer" is offensive and oppressive. From now on Bethany decided you all should refer to yourself as the Independent Women. That's all."

Yabadabadoo

Yes, so I had a good tournament on Saturday... it was a bit wierd not debating with Chris, in fact it was incredibly wierd. It isn't that I don't like debating with Kaitlin, in fact I love debating with her. (and despite what she says she is an excellent debater) Yeah, I just debated with Chris a long time, and fifth round we went against him and Alex. Yeah, kinda odd, but by far the most fun, and the best round of the whole tournament :-) I love debate!

Hmmmmm

I went to gymnastics today for almost an hour. I didn't do very much, but it was nice to be able to be back... scary, but nice at the same time. And.................... A Tournament Tomorrow!!! (Yay for Debate, and Yay for my stupendously amazing partner Kaitlin :-D)

Finally

I'm Here! ::is grinning very largely::

Guess Where I'm Going!

I GET TO GO BE WITH MY SISTER FOR A WEEK!!!!!!!!!

Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy... yes, I'm happy :-)

Quote of the Day #3

(In a coversation talking about the computer)
Joy: Gimme... Gimme... Gimme Gimme Gimme Gimme gravy tonight
Bethany: Why should I give it to you
Joy: Because I love you
Bethany: Why else
Joy: Because I'm going to watch CSI, and I'll make you breakfast burritos, and I had to suffer... I just don't know what I'm going to do! And because I'm getting fat, fat, fat, fat.
Bethany: He he he
Joy: Gimme!!! Do you want to see a grown gir l cry? My compooter I want my compooter... I want, I want my compooter... I want, I want, I want, a breakfast burrito
Bethany: What else do you want?
Joy: I want your mom
Bethany: JOY!!
Joy: who you talking to? I want you to be quiet about me... Is it Emily Duncan? I want my boyfriend to kiss me pasionately under the stars, I want Bethany's toe ring to be permanantly mine. I want whoever you talking to to quite being such a butt face... who are you talking to. I want to run around naked and yell hip hip hooray it's saint patricks day. I want to watch CSI. I want bethany to give me my gosh darn computer. I want a pumpkin. I want some cranberry juice because it cleanse out your urinary tract. who are you talking about? Is it Emily Duncan? let me see! Let me see...
Bethany: Just a sec, I gotta finish typing what you said.
Joy: gimme gimme, bethany, gimme, do I need to come over hear and take it from you, do I need to come over hear and flash you my sexy butt? Don't write that... DON"T WRITE THAT, are you writing that, don't write that.
Bethany: Our lives have never been the same since Xanga

A First (Part 3)

I am doing progressively better. Incredibly sore, but almost completely off the pain meds, and doing ok. I can lean forward about another inch or two I think which is good, at least a little progress. That's all. :-)

Tom Stone

A good place to visit if you want to see portraits that will challenge the way you see, is the Tom Stone Gallery. You can also pick him up where I first found him, on flickr.

This is what he says: " i photograph people who skirt the edges of things; people whose connection to the broader flow is murky or obscured. mistaken as more, less or different than they are; they aren’t really seen and don’t really belong. that’s everyone sometimes; but some more often. i try to establish a line for a moment. i hope to connect. and i see the most beautiful and the most heartbreaking things.

to my thinking, the original human trauma is our separation. we are too close not to need each other; and too far to trust each other. we rely on dubious senses and clever devices to interact; but we are alone in our thoughts. lonely, insecure and uncertain; we pair, we group, we associate. we try to belong and we seek to exclude. we form bonds by geography, religion, economy and otherwise. but it is all precarious. we come together and we drive apart.

and we climb our ladder. we step away from those who don’t belong and help those who do. we are connected rung by rung – though less and less – as we push and pull. but some do not climb; and below, the earth is littered with them. they fit too poorly. they stand apart. they stand without.

and what of them; these ones who don’t belong or who are excluded; who don’t fit or don’t try? is there nothing they value? is there nothing of them we value? i count it as a measure of our ignorance, the depth of poverty in the world. it’s a glaring marker to how far we have not come. yet it has also driven our advance; on less fortunate backs and against less fortunate fate.

but is there really no connection there? does such fate – whether choice or circumstance – speak nothing of us? tell me we do more than advance in place; with so many left behind. or promise me we can do better. say we can reflect ourselves; us and them... that we can see the ways we overlap and distinguish the ways we grow apart. and pledge that we can learn; to fit all of our misshapes; to reward value beyond charity and beyond the marketplace; to be better to each other; to be better ourselves. and promise me it could be a better world. or tell me we are at our best."

A First (Part 2)

I am really struggling as to what I should write. I want to express what I'm feeling, what's going on in my brain, in my body... but I don't want to come across as complaining. So, as you read this just keep in mind, I'm not trying to just whine to the world.

I woke up every four hours last night to take my pain medication. I went back to sleep so very easily because it makes me drowzy. I've been in this half awake half asleep state since 10:30 yesterday, but besides that everything seems normal now. It doesn't hurt to sit here and type away on my computer, to read the economist, to play around on flickr, everything seems normal, like nothing ever happened. And then I move, and the pain comes back, not just the pain that shoots through the middle of my back, but the pain at the thought of not being able to do what I love. The thoughts that I won't be able to teach, will probably have to skip out on the rest of the meets this year, including zones. That I won't touch a floor, won't touch the bars for more than a month.

That I can't do anything.

The hardest part about being sick or injured is that I can't. Everyone else has to do things for me. Laralyn, can you get me orange juice? Mom, can you get me a pillow? Dad, can you feed the cat for me? Can you? Please? Can I go outside? It hurts my pride that I can't do things for myself. That hurts more than the real pain. But then again, that pain is just as real as the physical.

It's nice to see how things work for the best.

The rest of my body, the injuries that I have lost count of can heal... I probably won't let the newest one completely heal, but the rest will, and my body will restore itself. I have to let it, because I can't do anything else. I have time now. I can hang out with friends, relax, rest, sleep, and visit my sister. My busy schedule has been destroyed, and I'm left not knowing what to do. I'll probably spend a lot of time just laying on my back with my computer on my lap, but I'll get to do other things as well that I never have time for. Finish crocheting my blanket, work on my Maille, read, just be. Funny how getting hurt does that to you.

(And my artist page is now up and running)

A First

Well, I got to do something today that I've never been able to do before. I took a trip in the ambulance. I'm fine, I'll live to see another day, but won't be doing or teaching gymnastics for a while. I'll have lots of time to do Math and Debate, thats for sure. So, don't worry too much. I'd appreciate prayers for my back, and what I should do for the next couple of days, being as I will be skipping out on roughly 25 hours of gymnastics in the next seven days. Thats a lot of time to do other things in... and to get very bored in :-)
~Bethany

::Singing with Joy::

At approximately 2:45 I officially became elated about this years debate topic, something that hasn't happened in a long while. I think we are going to be able to run the equivalent of the Marshall Islands case! :-D I can't even describe how happy I am.

::Happy Happy Happy::

Yesterday was the first debate round of the year, with my beautiful partner Kaitlin. It made me very happy. Though it was a little bit odd, because the first round last year was Chris and I against Kaitlin and Kelsey, and this year it was Myself and Kaitlin against Kelsey and Kirby (it would have been really wierd if it was against Kelsey and Chris) It was a lot of fun, and I am incredibly excited about this year. There are definately benefits to having a girl partner... like, sleepovers! I must say that I already am incredibly missing being partnered with Chris, but, I guess three years together might of been overdoing it just a little ;-) Good luck to Chris and Alex, may you beat us in half a million practice round, and may we never meet in double-octs!

On another note, I am getting ready to leave in a little less than an hour to go to my second ever gymnastics meet. Another reason to be really happy! Hopefully my knee doesn't bother me too much... I think I'm going to take it off after warm-ups, because it really does restrict my movement, which means points off. So, we'll see how everything goes.

And lastly, Happy Birthday to my amazing friend Adria! May your birthday be O so full of surprises ;-)

Street Acrobats... or something

This is hecka sweet!!! Kelsey sent me the link :-)

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7003884391464159886

I want to be able to do that.

Quote of the Day #2

Dad: San Fransisco is having electrical storms and hail right now
Mom: Well yeah, it's judgment
Dad: I didn't say hail fire and brimstone

Quote of the Day #1

"It is never morally permissible to stick dynamite up someones butt" ~ My Mom

Being with Family

Well, I went from not posting to posting three times in one day.

I am so excited about this weekend, I've definitely been counting down the days, and also, definitely woke up this morning and realized it wasn't friday and was immensely disappointed.

Friday I get to see a whole lot of friends and hang out with them, Saturday I get to see my family. I left the pizza parlor in tears because I was leaving them behind it seemed so long ago, though really its only been about two months. So, I get to see Lindsay, Bill, Carole, Berta and a whole bunch more family that I've been missing. And then of course after that is my first ever, real gymnastics meet, in Visalia. (which I'm a bit nervous about)

But I miss my family so much. One of the people who I consider part of my family asked me the other day while he was proof reading one of my papers, weather I wanted to change the world family to friends? I said no, and he asked if I really considered the people I was talking about family? And I do. Family is not determined simply by genetic coding, or who had sex with this person or that. Being called part of a family is not a right, it is earned, and tragically sometimes, it is revoked. It puzzles me sometimes as to who I consider part of my family. Heck, if they were all together, it'd be just a random group of people stuffed into a room somewhere. Half of them don't know more than a couple of the rest there. Maybe they've heard about the other and they start talking, a little awkwardly probably, but to me, they are all my family, even if they aren't family to eachother.

So, I will see part of my family this weekend... and I have been longing for that for a long time.

The Wind is Changing

Somehow I feel very much so as though Marry Poppins is here. I don't know why, it's something about the way the breeze is floating about outside, slowly teasing its way around corners as the slow moving clouds glance lazily at their companions.

Oh, dear winter I have missed thee, and I pray that you shall come quickly.

It seems ironic to me, that during the summer I just want to stay inside and during the winter I do school sitting under a tree. To most people I would think it may seem rather backwards, but to me, the whole world is backwards.

Becoming more alike?

Well, apparently hanging out with eachother has made me more like the rest of the group. As I was digging back through my blog archives adding labels I found this and thought I should take the quiz again just for the heck of it. So, here are the original results:

You scored as Bethany. Bethany 100% Kelsey 67% Laralyn 42% Kaitlin 42% Stephanie 17% Which Modesto girl are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Here are the new results:

You scored as Bethany. Bethany 100% Kelsey 67% Kaitlin 58% Laralyn 50% Stephanie 25% Which Modesto girl are you? created with QuizFarm.com

And, I did it again a while later:

Which Modesto girl are you? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Bethany Bethany 100% Kelsey 83% Kaitlin 75% Laralyn 50% Stephanie 50%

A Tribute to Last Years Debate Topic

(Apparently I really can't stay away from my computer for that long)

Three doctors are waiting in line to get into the pearly gates. St. Peter walks out and asks the first one, "What have you done to enter Heaven?" "I am a pediatrician and have brought thousands of the Lord's babies into the world." "Good enough to enter the gates," replied St. Peter and in he goes. The same question is asked of the second doctor. "I am a general practioner and go to Third World countries three times a year to cure the poor." St. Peter is impressed and allows him through the gates. The third doctor steps up in line and knowing the question, blurts out, "I am a director of a HMO."

St. Peter meditates on this for a while and then says, "Fine, you can enter Heaven...but only for 2 days."

YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

:is dancing around in circles::


PARTNERSHIPS ARE OUT
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm really happy, in case you hadn't noticed, for you see I am partnered with who I want to be :-D

Wooo hoo for debate starting and being partered KAITLIN!!!!!!

Simplification

The American Heritage Dictionary:

sim·pli·fy
tr.v. sim·pli·fied, sim·pli·fy·ing, sim·pli·fies

To make simple or simpler, as:

1. To reduce in complexity or extent.
2. To reduce to fundamental parts.
3. To make easier to understand.

This is one of the goals for my life right now, however I am failing miserably at it. In fact, I think that my life is getting even more complex, but that's ok, its a work in progress. So, I am not going to blog or read blogs until the 16th (except when partnerships come out) and am trying to limit my time on the computer, but I really don't know if any of that will end up happening ;-) It's small, but maybe it will be of some use in simplifying my life.

So, goodbye for now.

Misc.

A good day, a bad day: Some great hanging out with friends that I haven't seen in a very long time, I have missed you all incredibly and miss talking to people who speak the same language (figuratively) and I miss my sister a whole lot and she has only been gone for around 32 hours...


Excerpts from the current book I'm reading:(sorry if they don't make sense out of context, but I felt as though they needed to be posted, I don't really know why)

"In a moment John was on his knees and feeling for Vertue's heart. It beat still. He laid his face to Vertue's lips. He breathed still. He caught him by the shoulder and shook him. 'Wake up,' he cried, 'the morning is here.' Then Vertue opened his eyes and smiled at John, a little foolishly. 'Are you well?' said John. 'Are you fit to travel?' But Vertue only smiled. He was dumb. Then John held out his hands and pulled Vertue to his feet: and Vertue stood up uncertainly, but as soon as he made a stride he stumbled and fell, for he was blind. It was long before John understood. Then at last I saw him take Vertue by the hand and, leading him, resume their journey to the South. And there fell upon John that last loneliness which comes when the comforter himself needs comforting, and the guide is to be guided."

"'I will pass on. But one word before I go. You cannot have it both ways.' 'What do you mean, sir?' 'Your life has been saved all this day by crying out to something which you call by many names, and you have said yourself that you used metaphors.' 'Was I wrong, sir?' 'Perhaps not. But you must play fair. If its help is not a metaphor, neither are its commands. If it can answer when you call, then it can speak without your asking. If you can go to it, it can come to you.' 'I think I see, sir. You mean that I am not my own man: in some sense I have a Landlord after all?' 'Even so. But what is it that dismays you? You heard from Wisdom how the rules were yours and not yours. Did you not mean to keep them? And if so, can it scare you to know that there is one who will make you able to keep them?' 'Well,' said John, 'I suppose you have found me out. Perhaps I did not fully mean to keep them-not all-or not all the time. And yet, in a way, I think I did. It is like a thorn in your finger, sir. You know when you set about taking it out yourself-you mean to get it out-you know it will hurt-and it does hurt-but somehow it is not very serious business-well, I suppose, because you fell that you always could stop if it was very bad. Not that you intend to stop. But it is a very different thing to hold your hand out to a surgeon to be hurt as me as he thinks fit. And at his speed.' The Man laughed, 'I see you understand me very well,' He said, 'but the great thing is to get the thorn out.' And then He went away."

Joy is Ditching

Yes, Joy is leaving me for a whole semester, which is very incredibly sad, and I think that I may just go insane.

(Oregon pictures are up)

Back... home?

Well, I've returned from a little more than a week of fog, ocean, low 70s, a couple good books, a couple dozen hours of Star Trek, a time of rest for my body (though I'm throwing it right back in this week with another 9hrs of gymnastics), lots of bike rides, time with my family, good jokes, finding new buttons on my sister, hanging out with Lamar, and generally relaxing and having a good time in Oregon.

Well, this next week is going to be crazy, gymnastics, school, cleaning, and getting my life back together... and then saying goodbye to my sister :-( She's leaving me for a semester... but I guess life will go on. I am so ready for debate class to start so that I can see everybody again.

I think I agree

You Are 47% American

America: You don't love it or want to leave it. But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over. On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead... And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch!

How American Are You?

Gone again

Well, I'm leaving for Oregon soon, we haven't decided if we will leave thursday and drive all night long, or if we will get up at like 4 in the morning and leave friday, but it will be soon. This makes me really rediculously excited, because that means we are going to Oregon, but really really really sad because that means I won't be able to hang out with all of my friends for even longer... yes, I miss a whole lot of people right now, but especially I think I miss Kelsey. I haven't seen her in forever, and that makes me sad, but soon school will start and we will be together again :-)

Thanks to my Good Friend Chris

There was a little old lady, who every morning, stepped onto her front porch, raised her arms to the sky, and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD!"

One day an athiest moved into the house next door. He became irritated at the little old lady. Every morning he'd step onto his front porch after her and yell: "THERE IS NO LORD!"

Time passed with the two of them carrying on this way every day.

One morning, in the middle of winter, the little old lady stepped onto her front porch and shouted: PRAISE THE LORD! Please Lord, I have no food and I am starving, provide for me, Oh Lord!"

The next moring she stepped onto her porch and there were two HUGE bags of groceries sitting there. "PRAISE THE LORD!" she cried out. "HE HAS PROVIDED GROCERIES FOR ME!"

The athiest jumped out of the hedges and shouted: "HA! THERE IS NO LORD> I BOUGHT THOSE GROCERIES!!"

The little old lady threw her arms into the air and shouted: "PRAISE THE LORD! HE HAS PROVIDED ME WITH GROCERIES AND MADE THE DEVIL PAY FOR THEM!"

On Stewardship

"A steward, then, isn’t someone who maximizes her own potential, or his own self-worth, or her own treasures. A steward is someone who maximizes someone else’s potential, someone else’s self-worth, someone else’s treasures and talents. A steward is someone who cares enough to be a good neighbor. A steward acts in love and concern, not for what she’s getting out of the transaction, but for what she might be able to raise for her friend. To be a good steward is one of the highest Christian callings there can be. And in that sense, it’s always stewardship season."
Thanks to James McTyre (Note, I do not advocate all in this blog)

Any thoughts?

Tomorrow

Tomorrow will be my first "real" gymnastics meet, and my sister is coming home... really nervous, really happy.

The Stuff is Going

Well, with my ever growing desire to rid my life of needless material possessions I have successfully eliminated a lot. It has been an interesting trail to travel and one that has led me to another decisions that I'll talk about in a second. As I was going through boxes and boxes of things (which I am still doing) that I haven't seen for probably years it was all of those little things that hit me. The smell of the chapstick that I used when I was twelve, stuffed animals that haven't been seen in years, the little rings you get for 25 cents. And most of all the bracelets. I scrapped part of my life yesterday. Of probably close to thirty hemp bracelets, anklets, necklaces and rings, only two remain. An age is ending. Digging through the past can do interesting things to your brain. Good memories, bad memories. I found several random scraps of paper that brought back so much joy, and ones that filled my eyes with tears. Things have been saved and filed away, but much more has been set aside to give away.

Our house is nothing magnificent to look at, one story three bedrooms, two bathrooms, plus the room we built in the garage... but it is so much more than we need. We have been blessed so abundantly, and the way that I use that blessing has almost begun to sicken me. The decisions that I make daily to live my life materially have begun to weigh heavily on my heart. How do I justify spending twenty dollars to go have some fun when there are people who are starving, homeless, dieing? I am learning that if I am truly to believe what I do then my life must change, so it is starting. I don't know how far I will be carried, but the journey has begun, and it is only Christ who will carry me to my destination because I know that I could never make it there on my own.

So consequently if you are interested in getting me something for my birthday there are only two things that I want. The first is a lens for my camera which has been really hard for me to go ahead and decide that I am going to get it. I believe that probably my family will pay for most of it and I will end up paying for the rest, so if you want to help out with that you could send a couple dollars the way of my parents and let them know. Or additionally you could give this: A Gift of Hope

(If you already have gotten me something, or still want to that's ok)

A Little Frustrated

Well, I think that tomorrow is going to be a no technology day, and I'm serious. Yeah, so I'm still trying to catch up on emails and everything so if I haven't responded I'm sorry, I'm going to try to finish all of that up tonight, and then tomorrow the only thing I am going to use technological is my CD player, and that's a maybe, I haven't decided yet. I feel like I waste my life away on these things. I just get tired of screens, and today has been one of those days. Though I must say that yesterdays debate madness was great, but that's different. So, if you email me or whatever I'll get it day after next... that is if I don't decide to just disappear for a while.

I'm Happy

I'd forgotted how much I loved spending hours reformating word documents. :-D
(and I'm not being sarcastic)

Never Ending

If you feel like you want to read it I wrote a song today that happens to have the same title.

I am coming to realize more and more as I get older (yeah, like I'm really that old) that love never dies. True love (I'm not really talking about like falling in love or whatever) will never stop, no matter what happens, no matter what changes. Maybe it does and I just haven't lived long enough to find out, but I have a feeling I'm right. Well, this probably just sounds like ramblings, but I don't know, maybe it doesn't. My thoughts are muddled. I miss friends. I miss people I haven't seen in years. I miss people I saw just yesterday. I miss people I saw today...

I've been thinking about legally changing my (middle) name recently, but then again why does it matter if it's legal or not?

Oh yes, and happy birthday to Ryan.

Faith Flight by Dallas Elder (excerpts)

One of my lifetime desires has been to hang glide. Recently while I was in Peru that opportunity presented itself. While in Lima, waiting for my missionary to finish at the dentist, I saw the hang gliders across the street leaping from the cliffs which over looked the sea. For a nominal fee they would take you up for a few minutes. I went for it. They strapped me in with the pilot, connecting me to the chute. The instruction was, “Do you see that cliff? Run toward it.” It was a sheer precipice that rose more than 200 feet above the sea. We ran in tandem with our chute and leaped from the cliff. The first movement was downward, but then the chute caught air and the lift of the sea breeze flowing against the cliffs. It then lofted us high above the ground carrying us effortless along the beautiful shoreline.

The whole thing became a faith analogy. Faith is the substance (assurance) of things hoped for the conviction of things not seen. (Heb.11:1) Faith isn’t an air-headed fantasy without foundation. It is more than hope. It has substance. It is not jumping off into the thin air of uncertainty. It is a calculated, truth base effort. There are spiritual laws at work that enable flight. To literally jump off the cliff, there is the downward pull of the world. It is the law of gravity. It is a strong and constant pull that keeps people grounded on the earth. But there is another law that transcends and trumps the law of gravity. It is the law of aerodynamics. This law, is the law of lift and it sustains the fact of flight. Spiritually speaking in our world, there is the law of Sin and Death. It is the subterranean, diabolical pull of this fallen world. But there is another law which trumps this law. It is the law of the Spirit and Life. It lifts you above this fallen world. …Because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life has set me free from the law of sin and death.(Rom 8:2)

We leap in defiance of the laws of this fallen world to soar in the air of His Unshakable Kingdom.

Two Things

I completely agree with this person:

And according to Quiz Galaxy I will be defined as this in the dictionary:

Bethany --
[noun]:

A person who is a master of making ravioli

So many things to do and so little time

Well, I think that this will be a post full of a whole bunch of things. Fun things, happy things, and sad things.

Communication with Technology
First of all I must say when I get home I feel so useless, it doesn't really matter what it is that I am coming home from, as long as I have been gone for any amount of time I feel like I spend my life catching up on everything... but it seems as though I catch up with technology not with life. I spend so much time on my computer, checking emails, looking at the pictures my friends have put up, reading through blogs, checking the news, looking at webpages, downloading pictures, charging my ipod. It all just throws itself on top of me, especially when I am coming back from someplace where I am completely away from technology, and then... I sit here and soak myself in it again. It makes me feel very empty sometimes, and yet here I am writing on more technology, my blog.

Outpost 007
Next I guess would be camp, I'm home and extremely tired, but re-couping. We got home Saturday around noon and then Joy, Dad and I went sailing the rest of the day. Then on Sunday I was gone pretty much all day so, consequently I didn't wake up until around 10:30 today. Camp was amazing though. Outpost in my opinion is the best camp at Calvin Crest, as long as you can brave the dirt, hiking and mosquitos. It was an awesome week. A little challenging being as we had some boys that were a bit rough and did a lot of fighting, but that changed a lot by the end of the week. There was a lot of growth for the kids I think, it was beautiful to watch them change in such a short amount of time, and I pray that when they go home that they won't change back. We did lots of hiking, swimming, hanging out, playing cards, singing, getting bit by mosquitos, sleeping in the dirt, and just having fun. We had a great trip up to Iron lakes on thursday, a great hike in and some lunch then swimming, diving, swimming, diving. It was beautifully clear as usual and just a little bit of snow still up at the top of the mountain. Gorgeous. Pictures will be up later today methinks. I was a little bit worried about our group being as they basically all came with Trinity (only 6 weren't) but it was pretty good. Everyone became great friends and not everyone that came with Trinity actually go to to church there so they still got to hang out with new friends. I was surprised by the group too, there wasn't much complaining, or at least not as much as I thought there would be (there is quite a bit of hiking). I would definately put this week as my best experience being a counselor at Calvin Crest so far. Yup, yup, all in all a great week.

Gymnastics
Well, apparently my toe is doing better. It got a little bit sore on some of the hikes at Calvin Crest but it didn't really hurt so I think it's doing good. I did my first round-off yesterday that I have done in almost 5 weeks I think it is now. That made me incredibly excited because I have completely missed gymnastics even though I've been doing it a lot I haven't been able to tumble at all. Hmmm... yes, makes me very happy. I have 12 days until my first gymnastics competition. Well, it's not really a meet, it's only the practice meet, but I'm still really nervous about it because I have been gone for a week, and haven't done my floor routine for five weeks, and I still can't vault, but all shall be well. Hopefully.

A philosophy on photography
Well, recently as I was looking at some pictures it struck me that I think of some people who take pictures as just that, people who take pictures, and others as photographers. I haven't quite decided what the difference is yet though. I think part of it has to do with taking pictures because it looks cool, or taking pictures to capture beauty. The other part of it is how many pictures they take. But, I must say that its hard for me to enjoy some places without my camera. THat's why I made it a point not to carry my camera around at Ashram, I needed to just get the imaginary picture frame out of my head and enjoy life without thinking about how my life would look in a picture. Yeah, I don't know if that made sense to anyone, but that's ok if it doesn't.

The Blessings of Life
I have been struggling a lot in the past year and a half or so with the concept of death. I don’t know if there really is a way to completely understand death, even if you have seen it first hand, because we can never know what it is to die… cuz then we’d be dead. There are very few people who have ever been dead and come back to life, and I am not one of them, so I really don’t know what it’s like. It seems as though the degenerate nature of our bodies has only in recent years become something real. I know that my mind cannot grasp the reasons, though there are many, that there cannot be an eternity here on earth, or even that there cannot be a few more years, a few more months… a few more minutes. Yet the pain lingers on, forever as it seems. Maybe that’s how it supposed to be, I don’t know. But my heart still breaks when I look at those I love and see that they are slowly slipping, becoming older, forgetting.

Well... I think that's it for now. I love you all and miss you lots and lots too.

Well, if that's how it goes

Bethany: I'm going to walk you to your car tonight for once
Laralyn: but... but your the girl...

Followed of course by some, wow, that isn't quite how that was supposed to sound, etc. Yeah, that one produced a few laughs

Extra Crispy

Well, a beautiful day of sailing and hanging out with some awesome people. I have come back just a little bit red-er than when I left... Somehow I managed to forget to put sunscreen on my shoulders and the upper part of my back, I don't know how it happened. Other than that it was pretty non-eventfully. Some sailing, some rowdy Jr. Highers, some rowdy (is that how you spell that?) adults, lots of water, some wind, and lots of nectarines. Yum! And then lots of little kids that I hung out with at the gymnastics fun night after our sailing trip was done. All in all, a good day.

(Outpost is next week, and I am so stoked!)

On the Nature of Stuff

I really don’t like stuff, I really don’t like things, but what I really don’t like is that we have so many things that we put them away in boxes and forget that they exist, when so many other people could hold all of their belongings in one hand. Stuff really bugs me and yet, I don’t bother to get rid of any of it. So, today I am starting with clothes, and if I never get further than that, at least I got that far.

Gah!

I hate calling people, this is because I have phone-o-phobia, for those of you who don't know what that is, it's an irrational fear of talking on the phone. (note this is different from phonophobia which would be the irrational fear of sound) Though it's not as much talking on the phone, though it is a bit of that as well, but more of calling people. It makes me ridiculously nervous and also makes me shake. Which is why I am the wrong person to have the job of calling lots of Jr. Highers to tell them we are going sailing on Friday. Anyway, just thought I'd share that. (and if you are a Jr. Higher, you should come sailing with us)

Happy Happy Happy!!!

Kelsey is home!!! This is all very exciting, hmmm, I am just generally really happy right now, well, and tired, but that's normal. Yay that Kelsey is home!!!!

I miss thee my friends

I didn't realize how much I miss hanging out with all of the awesome debate people until I was on google talk for a while and talked to Chris for a bit, and I was totally just like "why does there even have to be a summer?" because then you don't get to hang out with your friends as much... well, I guess in one sense you do, because you can hang out with them for extended periods of time (for instance a whole day, or even week) but you don't see them as often. I guess that must be it. So, this is just to say, I miss everyone!

Funny Conversation

Background: Mom and I are at the kitchen table playing Magic the Gathering

TV Commercial: some advertisement about chronic constipation

Bethany: "Mom do you have chronic constipation?"
Mom: ::looking hard at her cards:: ::pause:: I thought that was a card!

Well, maybe you just had to have been there.

Ashram, Freedom, and Injuries

Well, as usual, Ashram was simply amazing, and as usual I am also injured. We shall start and end with the injuries (i.e. we shall go chronologically).

So, it all started 13 days ago (wednesday) when I was at gymnastics and rather forcefully exerted the muscles in my leg in order to propel my body into the air in a graceful split leap... unfortunately instead I very ungracefully propelled my leg foot straight into the ground causing my big toe on my right foot to move up into the joint as well as pulling several little ligamints, etc. which just happen to be important if you want to be able to walk without pain. So we went to the doctor Saturday morning and he said it probably wasn't broken but we should get x-rays, which wasn't quite possibly being as we were leaving for camp the next day. So Sunday afternoon we left for Ashram not knowing weather or not I had a broken foot, but heck, all they can do is buddy tape your toes right?

Well, I must say that Ashram was amazing. It was such a different year, but it was full of Joy (yes, Joy was there, which made me very happy, for you see we are both so busy that even though we live in the same house we never really get to hang out) Amy, Rachael, and Eric weren't there which was a big bummer, but there were a ton of Youth people that hadn't been there before which was pretty cool... although for the first day or two it was kinda weird simply because they didn't quite get how things usually go, but they caught on quick. It was such a blessing just to be able to hang out with everyone, especially Bill. He is the most awesomest guy I know... yes, I think that's a true statement. He is such a blessing in my life, and I love him a lot. So I hung out with him during work hour, and not during work hour, and we exchanged lots of hugs, lots and lots of hugs, for you see he was having back problems before he came to camp, and then once he got there he was stung by yellow jackets five times, and then got multiple spider bites, so he needed lots of hugs (as of course I did as well, even though none of that happened to me) So lots of hanging out with really awesome people, and I got to hang out with Jim!!!! Which was especially exciting because I haven't seen him since last year.

It amazes me how you can see people for so little time and yet be bonded so close to them. For instance miss Sarah, I have not spent even 6 months of my life with her, but we are such good friends even though we see eachother only one week of the whole year. Or take Jim for instance, I have seen him two weeks out of my entire life, and yet we are still great friends. Ok, back to where we were now.

So I got to hang out with good friends, and make lots of new friends. Our group was a whole lot bigger than we thought it was going to be which presented some problems, so it ended up that we split in half for our prayer groups so Sarah and I ended up leading one while Lindsay led the other, which was really cool. Even though we really didn't do anything it was really cool to know that Lindsay trusted Sarah and I to do that. It's always such a blessing to be able to pray over people and to be prayed over. I wish that our church was more like Ashram, not in the laying hands on, etc. but in the just being trustworthy and being real. We don't always feel safe to share, but at Ashram, I know that it is safe, I can share whatever I want to, and I know that I won't be laughed at and I also know that it won't be passed around to everyone's friends.

It was kinda a hard week because I couldn't do everything that I normally do: No diving board, no volleyball game, no running, but it was cool anyway. I gave my foot a rest, iced it during the evangelist hour, and tried not to do too much to it (being as I still didn't know if it was broken... well, and it hurt too) It was really nice to just spend time talking to people, I hang out with people a lot, but not very much of that hanging out includes talking. It's because you see people more often so you don't have as much to catch up on, yet I talked about many things this week that most people don't even think of/bother to ask about. Anyway, I hung out with Tim a lot, who was the son of the music leader. He had been playing guitar for about two months so I played guitar with him a little bit and we ended up writing a song and playing it in the talent show. It was really cool to see him start to open up. When we first got there he was definately the loud obnoxious kid, who really didn't want to be there, but that changed, and at the end of God really touched his heart, and he is now a child of the King... and what a fire he has to go and change his world.

Overall it was just an awesome week. God really moved through everyone to open my life up to the power of God's incredible power to heal. Ashram is my family, and as my family they look out for me, pray for me, keep me accountable, hang out with me, and just love me. I am so thankful to Lindsay for staying up with me and talking to me and letting me cry and praying for me. I'm sure she didn't get very much sleep because of me, but I really believe that through her and Bert the power of Christ has set me free. I can't go it alone, I know that, but I've been shown that the past no longer applies. I have been forgiven, and there is no temptation that is to big for Christ to help me through. So, everything ended as usual at pizza Friday afternoon with me crying because I didn't want to leave, but there is such a reason for that. I don't want to step away from the people that mean so much to me (and here I go crying again) My life has been so impacted by the people at the Ashram and by the times that God has so clearly made himself known to me there, that I don't want to leave it... but hopefully I will see them all again next year, and some of them I will see before that. So until then, I will miss them all every day of the year.

Now back to my injuries ;-) Well, we got x-rays of my foot friday after we got home and just got the verdict tonight that it's not broken, which is good because that means no cast, but is bad because that also means that it's a really bad sprain (which can be worse than a break) I also had the greatest adventure ever on monday, well, the second one is, but the first one was preaty awesome too. So I was doing a kip on bars and my hand slipped off and I ended up fall on the bar on my side really hard (it left a pretty cool mark) and then here comes the adventure. I am doing tap swings on the high bar (if you don't know what that is, basically your swinging on a bar six and a half-ish feet off the ground where the whole point is to swing and get your body basically horizontal and then swing back and do it again) so what happened was I didn't stay hollow so my hands weren't on the bar far enough and I ripped off, flying into the low bar (have some nice bruises on my legs from that) and than proceeded to have a nice hug with the floor. Yeah, it didn't really hurt that bad, although it was kinda hard to sit down cuz of my legs, but it freaked everyone out. So, that was my injuries, Ashram, and my adventure... I think that's all for now :-)

We've eaten here life giving bread

I have been truly blessed and freed... more to come when I'm not half asleep from exhaustion.

::grins::

IT'S RAINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Know Your Tired of Hearing About It...

But I will never get tired of talking/posting about it. Four more days until I am at Ashram, and Joy is at Ashram too :-) It has been a long time since I have had a sibling that is actually related to me there, and I say it's about time. Someone whom I won't mention names ::cough:: Laralyn ::cough:: was making fun of me on Monday about really like little old ladies... but it's not just liking little old ladies, it's being with people who know what it is to struggle, who know what it is to be there for you, who understand that you don't always know why things happen, or even what is happening. People who are full of wisdom, especially when that wisdom is knowing that a good long hug can sometimes just lift the burdens off of your shoulders, at least for a time.

I don't understand when people tell me that they can't relate to adults. Yes you can probably have a conversation with them, but they "don't understand". I just don't get that. I would say that probably when it really comes down to it, and I've been thinking about this a lot being as I am so incredibly excited about Ashram: Some of my closest friends, the people that I trust, the people that I know are there for me, are pushing 60 or even 70. So if you don't understand how someone could relate to a person 50 years older than you, just know, it can happen, and if you come to Ashram you could see it, and I am 99% sure that you would come away with another friend at least 40 years older than you are.

Anyone Play CCG?

Well, now that it is summer, I was wondering if there is anyone out there who plays: Magic, Star Wars (I have 3 different kinds I think) or any other TCG/CCG that they would lend me some cards. And if so, do you want to play?

(If none of that made any sense to you, count yourself blessed :-P)

Another Post on Ashram

I am ready to go. This Ashram is going to be a lot different from many Ashrams before, mostly because there will be a lot of people who will not be there... and I will miss them a lot. But I am ready. I need rest. I need family.

A Weak Off

I am ready for Ashram, not just because it is Ashram (which I am ready for that too) But my body wants a weak off. I have so many plans for how differently I would run my own gymnastics studio, one of which would be less conditioning. I know that it makes you stronger and its good for you, but spending a full hour of a three hour class on warm-ups and conditioning is a bit excessive I think. So, my body is ready for a break to just relax and heal. And I am ready for a break from my computer. A full weak with absolutely no email, or blogs, or flickr... I'm ready, in fact, I may start sooner than Ashram, but we will see.

The Votes Are In!

I read my ballots last night, something that I have been putting off... yeah, me thinks I should have put it off a bit longer. Just a tad frustrating, ok, so a lot frustrating.

Ashram is Soon Ariving!

I have totally lost track of time, I can't believe that Ashram is coming so quickly. I will be going back to my family. The Ashramites truly are my family, and they truly are a blessing. 17 Days.

Backwards Emotions

It seems as though the farther we are getting from Nationals, the more that our record bugs me. When I found out that we were 2-4 it didn't really matter, I was a little disappointed, but it wasn't all that important to me. But now, it's starting to bother me. I knew that I wasn't debating my best, and I just couldn't seem to get going soon enough in my rounds. I wasn't debating my best, but I still think we should have done better. I haven't read the ballots yet (maybe I should do that) but my mom said that there were some interesting reasons why they voted against us, so I guess I should go see what those were. I guess its just another tournament... but it was just another tournament I expected to do well at.

For the Love of the Sport

I had a great conversation with Miss Melanie Ellsworth on Sunday about gymnastics, and she said something that really got me thinking: "really they just don't get it" This was said in reference to her parents, and I completely agree. Maybe they do, but it doesn't seem that they understand what its like to be in the gym. To work your butt off because you love it and there isn't anything you would want to be doing more right then, even if it does mean sacrificing ripped hands and bruised legs to make your kip on the bar (or even not doing your kip, but still trying), or getting a beam bite because you tried just a little bit harder to stay on.

It's different.

It's different then practicing at home. Doing a handstand in the hallway isn't anything like doing a handstand out on the mat. It's the same handstand, but yet it is so much different. It's family, I can spend just as much time talking to my coach about the results of the National Homeschool Debate tournament as I can just about anyone, and more so than I can most of the people that are in my family. There is a connection that is far different and in some ways far deeper. If I could I would spend my life at the gym... oh wait, I already do :-P

I want to spend the rest of my life doing gymnastics, and inspiring other people to do it as well. I want to own my own studio. I want to change the face of competition gymnastics. I want to take a bunch of 15 year old kids to the level 5 competition and kick butt! I want people to realize that motivation has two forms: fear, and love, and that the former should never be used. I want gymnastics to be a sport where you continue on for as long as your love of it continues. I want to compete level 8 when I am 40 years old, just to show them that it can be done. But for now its all just a dream. Maybe one day, it will become a reality.

A Season Ended

Well... Debate is over for the year. I learned a lot during Nationals, most of which had absolutely nothing to do with debate. It was fun, disappointing, but fun. We had the worst record I believe that we have had all year (2-4) and most of the club was in the same boat. Kirby and Stephanie on the other hand were 6-0 which was hecka sweet. Lots of IEs did well too. But, rain, dancing, sitting at the airport, having a life crisis ;-), and the go-zebo all made it a great tournament. Those are the things that I will remember. And the one thing that made the whole trip worth it: I got some hecka sweet shoes.

Almost there!!! ... rip

What a beautiful day. The judges may be a little weirded out by my handshake at Nationals if my hands don't heal soon... yeah, long hang kips. I almost have it, but not quite. I got these instead.

Finishing up

Well, I am going to try to get just about everything finished today (formatting, etc,) so that I can print everything tomorrow (which will probably take a lot of paper) and then spend Saturday, the part of Sunday that I am home, and some time on the plane on Monday reading everything... all a gazillion pages worth. Only 7 more briefs to go...

Prayer Request: sleep. I need it, and am not getting much of it.

Another Random Quotation

I love how this book is written, yeah, so it's not an intalectual book, but I needed something to do while I spend hours on debate this week (it's a book on CD)

"You know how Hemingway writes? He couldn't write about this girls face, because he would say something like 'it was a pretty face' and that wouldn't be enough. This face needs someone like Dickens or maybe Tolstoy. Someone who would take a whole page and spend some time on her eyebrows and her cheeks, or maybe notice the shape of her mouth when she's concentrating on walking with her cane."

"Their machines are big and shiny, and they whir and hum. But do they really know more than some stone-age which doctor with a rattle and a guard full of ground up frog bones?"
Things Not Seen - Andrew Clements

Random Quotation

"Judges are like wild animals. They sense fear." ~Mr. Winther

An Update of My Life

I am truly blessed
I love gymnastics, I love my new camera, I love debate, I love sunsets, I love being outside, I love hanging out with all the guys, I love waterwars, I love singing, I love my friends, I love the sky, I love the color grey, I love the smell of earth, I love burning things, I love sailing, I love the wind, I love the gentle swaying of the grapevines, I love hard work, I love trying my hardest, I love fellowship, I love crying, I love Christ, and I love his incomprehensible grace.

Some Birthday Wishes
Happy Birthday to Stephen, who is a most awesome guy, and an excellent gamer (especially runescape) And Happy Birthday to Kyle Winston Varner, the newest addition to the family (not mine) who was born this morning.

What I am stressed about:
Nationals will be coming up on me very fast, maybe a better expression should be it is running me down and trampling apon me... but we won't go to that extreme. I should be working right now instead of posting, but I need a break. Five more days and 23 more word documents to go.

What I am not very happy about:
Two things fall under this category, the first is that of repartnering... yeah, not really just debate being over after nats, its a bit more than that. And secondly, I went to the doctor today, and got a prescription filled for (drum roll please) ... ... well, you will probably never guess, so I guess that means I have to tell you: an EpiPen. Yeah, not too stoked about the idea of ever having to shove a 1 and 1/2 inch needle into my thigh, but then again, I guess its better than dieing.

Spring Cleaning

Well, we pulled the boat out today, and Laralyn and I spent a couple hours scrubbing it. I'd say we got the first two layers of dirt off... only a couple million to go. But it looks a whole lot better, and we get to go sailing on it soon :-) I love pneuma.

(I also cleaned out my photostream a little bit, and added the pictures from debate camp.)

Away from home

I am thoroughly exhausted :-)

I don't feel like I should be at home, or probably more accurately, I really don't feel like I am at home. I've spent so much time with all of my friends at debate camp these last couple of days, its just weird to be alone. Our group definitely has become much like family. I've only been home an hour (I wrote this earlier, I've been home a little over four hours now) and I am already going through Hurd withdrawals... I miss everyone. But I am so very excited about nationals, and being able to hang out with lots and lots of debaters :-D This is very yes. So, debate camp was a lot of work, a lot of fun... and not much sleep. Consequently, I am going to go take a nap when I am done posting. There is much work to be done, and little time to do it in, I am soooo not ready, but that's ok, how can you ever really be ready for Nationals? The simply answer is that I don't think you every can be.

And... I got my kip :-D This is very exciting, because I've been working really hard on it, and I finally got it. It's been a long time since I've had the feeling of getting a new skill, a very very long time. That is one of the reasons that I am loving the apparatus, I can learn new things.

In other news

Heck yes it's debate camp!!!!

(oh, and this too)

I long for so much more

I want to just sit in the rain forever. Or maybe not forever, but for a very long time. And then, maybe I could get my life strait, and I would have the strength to go on.

Been far too long

Well, we had a really good practice round at our house last night. Not that the argumentation was especially well done, or new, but just the fact that we took three hours and only got through the 1AR (for those of you who don't know, normally that would take a little less than an hour) is pretty indicative of how the round went. Some really good insight into strategy and just plain old common sense go a long way when you actually spend the time looking into what it really means in the debate round. The other cool thing, was that for the first time ever, I got a nose bleed during one of my speeches!

Nationals is coming up way too soon. There isn't enough time to get ready, hang out with everyone, and do school. But mostly, it just seems that there isn't enough time to hang out. Yeah debate is important, throwing wipped cream at Kaitlin, rolling around on the ground, and just being with other people... Even though I've done a lot of being with people lately, it just doesn't seem like enough. Hopefully debate camp will fix that :-)

Oh, and I almost forgot! I am going to be the counselor for Outpost this summer at camp (which I already knew) but on Tuesday one of the girls from gymnastics whos friend I will be counseling asked me if she could go too. Which is pretty darn awesome... only problem, I don't know if there will be space, so if you can, be praying that she will be able to go to camp.

Happy Birthday!

It is Kaitlin's birthday, and she is a very awesome person, so you should all tell her happy birthday :-)

Who am I?

Well, according to this quiz (that Kelsey made) I am me! I am sooooo relieved :-P

You scored as Bethany. Bethany 100% Kelsey 67% Laralyn 42% Kaitlin 42% Stephanie 17% Which Modesto girl are you? created with QuizFarm.com

My Political Party

Well it isn't really anything substantial and it only took me 30 seconds, but at least its a post.

You scored as Anarchism. Anarchism 100% Green 67% Communism 67% Republican 58% Socialist 50% Nazi 33% Democrat 17% Fascism 17% What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In? created with QuizFarm.com

Busy

I need to post, I want to post, I should post... I just don't have time right now.

Pictures

Well, talk about back log. I finally got around to posting pictures from the Clash Debate Tournament this morning :-)

The Decision is Made

Next week is the fateful week that I put actions with my words... I am going to walk away from teaching gymnastics. It doesn't feel real. Like it isn't really happening. But it is. I've made teaching my life for so very long that I don't know how I will leave. Granted I will still be teaching on Tuesdays... but... what about Monday, and Wednesday and Thursday? I love all of those kids, and I don't know what I am going to do without them. I will miss them very much, that I know. Five years ago I started teaching gymnastics, it seems like an eternity. I have to keep reminding myself that this isn't the end of teaching. I will keep teaching Tuesdays, and will be back full swing in January... but January is so far away from now, and life doesn't seem like life without teaching. God has tought me many things through this change, and I'm sure that they will keep coming once it actually changes. Life isn't teaching, life is doing my Lord's will, and this is it.

Two Articles...

They suffer and wait.

I've listened to Wali Mohammed protest that he was just a businessman trying to get along in Taliban-run Afghanistan. I've watched Chaman Gul, crouched in his 7-by-8-foot cage, weep for fear that his family will forget him. I've marveled at the pluck and wit of Taj Mohammad, a 27-year-old uneducated goat herder who has taught himself fluent English while in Cuba.

No matter the age or background of the detainee, our meetings always leave me feeling helpless. These men show me the human face of the war on terrorism. They've been systematically dehumanized, cast as mere numbers in prison-camp fashion. But to me, they've become almost like friends, or brothers or fathers. I can honestly say that I don't believe any of our clients are guilty of crimes against the United States. No doubt some men here are, but not the men I've met.

Even the presiding officer at Mousovi's hearing declared that he found it "difficult to believe" that the United States had imprisoned Mousovi and flown him "all the way to Cuba." Yet here he sits.

"The way these men have been treated and what they've had to suffer makes me ashamed," Tom says. He and the other lawyers think it's a joke that the iguanas at Guantanamo Bay, which are protected by the U.S. Endangered Species Act, have more rights than the detainees.

And will keep waiting to be released.

Just last week, we heard that the Pentagon was planning to release 141 prisoners who were determined to "pose no threat"

But now, the NY Times reports this:

"The Pentagon has no plans to release any detainees in the immediate future," said a Defense Department spokesman, Lt. Cmdr. Jeffrey Gordon of the Navy. He said the negotiations with foreign governments "have proven to be a complex, time-consuming and difficult process."

The negotiations are in regards to assurances that detainees will not be tortured when repatriated. The sudden concern for human rights is apparently based on State Department pressure:

According to a State Department human rights report released in March, the Saudi authorities have used "beatings, whippings and sleep deprivation" on Saudi and foreign prisoners. The report also noted "allegations of beatings with sticks and suspension from bars by handcuffs."

Hunh. That sounds familiar. Guantanamo detainees have been enduring this and worse while being held at the base in Cuba. But as the State Department wrings its hands over human rights, many Guantanamo prisoners are in such a dire condition psychologically that they are repeatedly trying to commit suicide.

9 Day Weeks?

I decided today that life would be so much easier if there were nine days in a week. I could teach gymnastics three days a week, take gymnastics three days a week, have a day for church, a day for debate... and a day to just be.

A Tribute to My Friends

This post is to say how much all of my friends mean to me. The last couple of years I have been praying desperately for friendships, for real companionship, and God has answered my prayers. I have been blessed with so many people to share my life with, and I am truly thankful. I won't attempt to make a list, because there are lots of you, and I would probably forget one ;-) I love you all!

Back to Reality

Well, I am going to be doing one solid week of school. I think I might go insane. I am at 3 and a half hours right now and am getting incredibly frustrated with math, but oh well. 2 hours of math and I just finished the first problem... yeah, I hate math, mostly because I don't understand why, but most of the people who made they whys are dead, so, I can't ask them why, and my mom can't explain it to me. Well, enough procrastinating, back to school.

A First

Normally this would be my post saying that the pictures from the Modesto tournament are up... except, I didn't take a single picture! ::goes into shock:: :-P

1st Seed, 1st Place

I can't think of words to adequately express what I am feeling...

Kaitlin and Kelsey Qualified :-D Yes, that makes me incredulously happy. And... well, so are Chris and I. Yeah, I really don't know what to say. Kelsey and Kaitlin both said it pretty well though.

I went into this tournament expecting it to be the last one of the year, but, evidently, God had different plans for me. It was absolutely amazing to see how many people there were chearing us on... wow, yeah, I still really can't believe this... It was a great tournament too. Chris was so totally on, yeah, he was amazing (especially pulling through those rounds where I was half asleep) Yes, Chris is an amazing partner, just in case you didn't know. :-)

WoW

To be replaced later by a more descriptive post...

Ready to Roll

Three times of singing the Hallelujah Chorus, and hanging out with the kids, and I am stoked!

Happy Easter!

Yes, my dad sent this to me :-)

Misc.

Well, I am trying to get all of my last minute debate and cleaning and gymnastics and everything-ness done tonight, so that I don't have to worry about that at all tomorrow (Easter). Yes, I am leaving on Monday morning to go to L.A. on a missions trip, and then coming back early on thursday night so that I can be home for the Modesto Debate tournament. ::is excited::

Well, I am very glad that I did not get accepted to Caleb, mainly because now Marissa is going to camp! This came about as since I will be home, I can council camp, and Marissa wasn't going to go, but decided to when I told her that I could council. This makes me very happy.

I also got to go hang out at the wright's house for a while today. I like those kids a lot. Especially Nick and Isaac. We hung out with the new puppies, and jumped on the trampoline, and played Uno and Monopoly, and I must say, I am now adopted into the Wright family!

I think that's it. I should be packing, so that's what I am going to do... after I get a little bit more debate done.

A Lesson In Faith

These past two weeks it seems as though I have been in constant prayer over what I am going to do with my summer. I have just had so many things that I wanted to do and so many things that I needed to choose between, so I decided to let God choose. (bright huh?) I honestly didn't know what I wanted for this summer, my desires have wavered from one side to the other just about daily, but the decision is made. I got a letter today saying that I didn't get accepted to Caleb, which though I wanted to go, is almost a relief. I was just talking to some friends the other day about how I would rather not get accepted then get accepted and then have to decide between Caleb and a whole bunch of other things, but now I don't.

So, possibilities for this summer (on top of gymnastics)

• Teach a Gymnastics morning program
• Council Outpost and Sherwood
• Hurd Camping trip
• Ashram
• Sleep :-)
  

Duct-tape World

So, tonight for our game at youth group, we definately duct-taped William to the wall... he stayed up there for 33 minutes and 39 seconds. A great night :-)

I'm bummed

Well, I got my first filling today, actually not my first "filling" because I got a filling technically when I chipped a million of my teeth (which they re-did one of those today) but, two cavities :-( This makes me very sad, though some people are like "cavities? whatever" but... yes, cavities. They make me sad.

New Music?

I need some new music to listen to. If anyone cares to share some with me, I'll be more than happy to accept it :-) Yes, I need a new band to like.

(I mean come on, you can only listen to Star Wars Techno for so long, you know? :-P)

The Vision-Pete Greig

The Vision is Jesus
Obsessively
Dangerously
Undeniably
Jesus

The Vision is an army of young people
You see bones? I see an army
And they are free from materialism
They laugh at 9-5 little prisons
They could eat caviar on monday and crusts on tuesday
They wouldn't even notice

They know the meaning of the matrix; the way the west was won
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations
They need no passport
People write their addresses in pencil, and wonder at their strange existence
They are free, yet they are slaves of the hurting, and dirty and dieing

What is the Vision?
The Vision is holiness that hurts the eyes
It makes children laugh, and adults angry
It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago, to reach for the stars
It scorns the good and strains for the best
It is dangeroulsly pure

Light flickers from every secret motive
Every private conversation
It loves people away from their suicide Leaps, their Satan games

This is an army that would lay down it's life for the cause
A million times a day its soldiers choose to lose,
That they might one day win
the great well done of faithfull sons and daughters

Such heros are as radical on monday morning as on Sunday night
They don't need fame from names
Instead the grin quietly upwards
And here the crowds chanting again and again
"Come on!"

And this is the sound of the underground
The whisper of history in the making
Foundations shaking, Revolutionaries dreaming once again
Mystery is scheeming in whispers
Conspiracy is breathing
This is the sound of the underground

And the army is disciplined
Young people who beat their bodies into submission
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrad in arms
The tattoo on their back boast "for me to live is Christ, and to die is gain"
Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes
Winners, Martyrs, who can stop them?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed?
Can feer scare them, or death kill them?

And a generation prays like a dieing man with graons beyond talking
With warrior cries, sulphiric tears, and with great barrow loads of laughter

Waiting
Watching
24-7-365

Whatever it takes they will give
Breaking the rules
Shaking mediocrity from it's cozy little hide
Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs
Laughing at labels, Fasting essentials
The advertisers cannot mold them
Holywood cannot hold them
Peer pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.
They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive, on the inside
On the outside they hardly care
They wear costumes to communicate, and to celebrate
But never to hide

Would they surrender their image? Or their popularity
They would lay down their very lives
Swap seats with the man on death row, guilty as hell
A throne for an electric chair
With blood and sweat and many tears
With sleepless nights and fruitless days

They pray as if it all depends on God
And live as if it all depends on them
Their DNA chooses Jesus
He Breathes out they breath in
Their subconscience sings

They had a blood transfusion with Jesus

Their words make demons scream in shopping malls
Don't you hear them coming?
Herald the wierdos, summon the losers and the freaks

Here come the freightened and forgoten, with fire in their eyes
They walk tall and trees applaued, Sky scrapers bow, Mountains are dwarfed
By these children of another dimmension
Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of eden

It will come to pass
It will com easily
It will come soon
How do I know?
Because this is the longing of creation itself
The groaning of the spirit
The very dream of God
My tomorrow is His today
My distant hope is his 3D
And my feeble whispered faithless prayer
Envokes a thunderous, resounding, bone shaking "Amen!"
From Countless Angels, from heros of the faith, from Christ himself
And He is the original dreamer
The ultimate winner
Guranteed