Just a little bit anti-social

I don't know what it is about being in large groups of people that un-nerves me, but it does. It may have at least a little bit to do with my pride and trying to keep up a reputation for... well, I'm sure something. I just really am not the most comfortable with it though. I would rather be the one who is always sitting back in the corner maybe talking to one or two people. But somehow I always end up being louder and talking more than I really want to. To be able to just sit back and be is beautiful, but its rather hard to do when other people aren't doing the same. I got to do a lot of that this thanksgiving though, with Lamar and Buck, and Adria too. I enjoy the luxary of knowing that I am not expected to talk at all if I don't want to, and that if I really felt compelled, I could be silent for hours on end and that would be perfectly fine. I want more silence in my life, and I need to learn how to balance that with the reality that at least sometimes, people make noise.